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Today I am offering a highly personalized, handwritten card from me to THREE lucky winners!
Whaaaat?
It’s not like I over-ordered my 2012 New Year’s cards or anything.
Probably.
Seriously, y’all! This is a good prize! Three people are going to get to see what my whole family looks like… including the elusive Tech Support!
As always, there are strings attached.
Look at the picture below.
Your challenge –should you choose to accept it — is to:
Tell me in 50 words or less — What Happened to This Binder?
Seriously? What happened here?
Leave a fabulous comment in 50 words or less for a chance to win.
This one will NOT be determined by Random Number Generator. I will pick my THREE favorites, so write me a cool story. All blogoversary winners will be posted on June 2nd.
Time for me to sit back and relax and read your words!
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It’s that time of the month year again!
Last year’s blogoversary rocked because the magnificent Julie C. Gardner wrote me this guest post.
And that, friends, was tremendous.
Before we move forward, I feel compelled to report some statistics.
First, there are only 54 days until my son’s bar mitzvah.
Can I get an “amen” right now? 
Thanks, I can feel the love already!
As I enter my third year in the blogosphere, I thought I would let you know some of the cool statistics I get to track.
To date, I have:
Written 360 posts (This is 361.)
Received 194,757 comments.
{And your comments are like delicious chocolates. I eat them up. Nom nom nom.}
The post that still gets the most hits on a daily basis: In Fear of Lice. Strangely, that bugger gets over 70 views each day. And I wrote it back in June 2010. Go figure.
Another wildly popular post is In Praise of the Pencil, proving that people have an irrational love for Ticonderoga pencils. That one was written in June 2011.
Anyway, we are celebrating all month at Teachers and Twits.
I have Friday guest posts from El Farris, David N. Walker, Iris Zimmerman & Ellie Ann Soderstrom — so be on the look out for those because they rock!
Plus I have some serious cyberswag for y’all.
Y’all know how we play my 100% bogus word game on the last Monday of the month based on my love of the book THE MEANING OF TINGO: AND OTHER EXTRAORDINARY WORDS FROM AROUND THE WORLD? Well, I wanted to give one of those books away. But wouldn’t you know it is out of print! Whaaaat? How dare they? Well, I ordered a “like new” copy, so I should have that to send to the person who wins May’s Made-It-Up Monday.
My friend, author Kasey Mathews, is offering a copy of her new release PREEMIE. I got to read her memoir before it was even in book form, and all I can say is that this is a wonderful read for anyone who has had a difficult delivery — but especially for people who have given birth to preemies or micro-preemies. People who read this book will want to squeeze their children. PREEMIE reminds us that every day really is a miracle.
.
Author Elena Aitken is offering a download of her newest book SUGAR CRASH. I read it while I was on vacation. It is a must-read for anyone whose life has been impacted by Juvenile Diabetes. You will love Taylor and her mom, Darci.
World famous author Tyler Tarver is offering a download of his newest release LETTERS TO FAMOUS PEOPLE. There isn’t much I can say about Tyler without his wife coming to git me. Dude is hot. Also, he is a math teacher. Oh, he makes great videos and comes up with some of the funniest similes, metaphors and analogies ever. I’m not sure he even knows he is doing it. I didn’t think math people could write the way Tyler does. Wow, I think might be mathist. But I guess the first step is admitting I have a problem. So I will. I can’t do math. Did I mention Tyler is hot?
I have a HOTDOG YOGA rollpack for one lucky yogi in the house. That bit of awesome-sauce comes courtesy of my friend in real life friend, C.F.O. and big blogger, Michael Hess of Skooba Design. (I like this video that shows Michael suffering making a video the best.)
And oh yes! I have all these old New Years 2012 cards pretty stationery upon which I will write super creepy personalized messages to 3 lucky winners.
But as always, with unconditional love, there are strings attached.
You’ll see as we go along!
So get psyched, my fellow twits.
It’s kind of going to be like THE HUNGER GAMES – except not at all like that. I don’t think anyone is going to have to die. Probably.
All winners will be determined by Random Number Generator and announced on June 1 (at which time there will be 22 days until my son’s bar mitzvah).
I should probably start exercising or something.
But let’s start with a little teaser right now.
Would you like to receive a special something from me? I have a copy of THE WRITE BRAIN WORKBOOK which features 366 writing exercises to help you exercise your creative writing muscles. Interested?
For one entry, answer the following question:
If we were to get together for a blogoversary lunch, where would we go, and what do you recommend I order?
For two additional entries: Tweet this post.
For three additional entries, Facebook share this post.
For five additional entries, mention my blogoversary on your own blog!
Just be sure to link back to this page.
For 20 additional entries, send a text message to my iPhone.
Just kidding. Don’t do that.
That’s weird.
Tweet this Twit @rasjacobson
Cover via Amazon
It’s the last Monday of the month, and you know what that means?
What do you mean you don’t know?
The last Monday of each Month is Made-It-Up Monday.
I throw out a 100% made-up word and ask you to:
- define it
- provide its part of speech, and
- use the word in a sentence that indicates how the word could be used.
Why? Because it’s fun.
And because someone gave me the book The Meaning of Tingo and Other Extraordinary Words From Around the World.
Did you know that in Japan, the word “bakku-shan” means “the experience of seeing a woman who appears pretty from behind but not from the front”?
Somehow, I’m guessing that is not a real popular word with the ladies.
Anyway, I can’t find the right word on the word-shelf to fit my mood or predicament, I just make one up.
The last time we did this the word was HUFFALOFTUS.
Remember, the first person to use the word even remotely close to the way I do shall receive linky-love. And by that, I mean I will announce your identity in the next Made-It-Up Monday post next month and link up to your blog, so folks can head over and check out your stuff.
If you are not a blogger, don’t worry. If you guess the meaning, I will highlight your name in bold and let everyone know how smart you are. If you are looking for a new job, you can put “uncanny ability to define 100% bogus words” on your resumé and direct prospective employers here. I will totally back you up.
Our last winner got a whole spread, so I won’t redo.
Continuing alphabetically, this month’s word is:
INDICULT
What the heck is that? Define it. And give me a sentence in which you show me how you would use it.
You know, if it were a real word.
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Look Who is Chillin' With Ferris & Cameron
Where have I been all day?
What do you mean?
I’ve been out having a fabulous day, that’s where I’ve been.
Just like Ferris would have wanted me to.
First, I went to Victoria’s Secret and tried on underwear.
It’s true.
Then I had an iced latte.
Then I danced for a while. Afterwards, I took a shower and gave myself a cool hairdo.
I looked a lot like this.
I did.
Seriously.
In case you haven’t heard, Ferris Bueller has made it to the Semi-Finals of Clay Morgan‘s March Movie Madness tournament.
Now Ferris needs your support (again) to make it to the finals of this Best Movie Protagonist competition.
Ferris is up against some stiff competition, namely Westley from The Princess Bride. I can hear you moaning now. Some of you are bound to love The Princess Bride. I know. It’s a great flick, but I have serious reasons as to why Westley needs to go down.
- Westley has a mustache that looks like a third eyebrow.
- Westley has a decidedly un-sexy ponytail.
- Westley is “mostly dead” for much of the movie.
Seriously is this the kind of hero you want to come out on top? Don’t get me wrong, Westley has some witty lines, but I don’t think he is really an epic hero.
So why should you vote for Ferris Bueller?
- Ferris is always alive during the entire movie. He is never even partially dead.
- Ferris is always there for his friends and his love.
- Ferris is never attacked by Rodents of Unusual Size. In fact, Ferris would have been able to charm the rodents and make them love him.
- Ferris is able to do something to the time/space continuum so that he was able to do more than any one person could do in a single day. That’s because Ferris is magic.
- Ferris does everything we wish we could have done but were too afraid to do — and he never gets caught.
- And of course, there’s the whole joie de vivre/seize the day/live life to the fullest because you might not be here tomorrow thing.
So this is (almost) it.
Click over and SAVE FERRIS one more time. You have until noon EST Saturday to do it.
Should Ferris win the whole thing, I will sing a song with all the names of the people who helped bring me to that final victory. So if you’d like to hear your name in song… SAVE FERRIS.
Enjoy this clip my family helped me make to show you how much I am in it to win it.
On an unrelated note, what are you wearing right now?
Tweet this Twit @rasjacobson
I’m in an airplane.
Seriously.
I’m stuck on an airplane right now as Clay Morgan opens the polls for Day 4 of his Second Annual March Movie Madness Contest.
Cover via Amazon
I picked Ferris Bueller as the movie protagonist that I am prepared to fight for.
Because Ferris knows how to be a friend.
He knows how to sweet talk his parents, the lunch lady, and the school nurse.
He always has a Plan A and a Plan B and a Plan C.
Because he is smooth.
He knows how to work the system.
Everyone loves him.
Only Principal Rooney, Ferris’s nemesis, doesn’t appreciate the gifts that Ferris bestows to the world.
Even his sister, who claims to hate him, comes through for Ferris in the end.
So why does everyone love Ferris Bueller?
Because he is on a universal quest to have fun.
He takes risks: not dangerous ones.
He does the crazy, silly things we wish we might be brave enough to do.
It is that kind of ethos that will always triumph.
Sure, Ferris is a rich kid who has almost nothing to complain about.
And guess what? He doesn’t.
He helps his friends overcome their fears.
He shows them love.
And a good time.
He reminds us all to cherish every moment of every day.
And this is why you have to go over to Clay’s blog and vote for me Ferris right now!
The polls open at noon.
I don’t even know who Ferris is up against.
But VOTE FERRIS BUELLER!
Do it for the little, geeky rebellious part of you that aspires to do something a little naughty.
Like sing Danke Schoen in public.
On a float.
And say something nice to Clay while you are there!
Look at the brackets. Who do you think is going all the way? IYKWIM.
Tweet This Twit @rasjacobson
This is an emergency.
Apparently.
The folks at the Modern Language Association have decided there is a proper way to cite a Tweet.
I’m sure there were extensive meetings about this.
Long meetings where people interrobanged and used interjections.
Brace yourselves:
Click here for the rest of the story.
This is, of course, extremely important because students use lots of tweets in their papers.
Or something.
Mostly, it’s important because the MLA realizes nothing new has happened lately in the world of grammar.
And booksellers like to sell updates to their many style manuals.
You know, to stay timely.
And students always need to have an up-to-date handbook to instruct them how to properly cite their research.
Now I suppose for certain types of papers, one might need to cite a tweet.
(Please, Lord, don’t let me get those kinds of papers.)
So this is good for me.
I have a head’s up.
Now I can tell my students that tweets are not to be used in papers.
I can tell them they will need to go out into the world and actually interact with other human beings — even experts in their fields — and collect interviews.
And of course, I’m being snarky: I understand the MLA is acknowledging the fact that the Internet has changed the way everyone conducts research. Educators have to know how to cite everything from Facebook pages to PDF files to online video games. As teachers, we have to know how to cite all of these things properly because if we aren’t armed with the right tools, we open ourselves up to problems with plagiarism.
And that is the biggest pain in the butt.
So, um, like how do I cite a Facebook comment on someone’s Fan page?
Is there a rule for that yet?
Until I hear more on that, my work here is done.
You’re welcome.
What little nugget of information did you learn today? Does not have to be school related.
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Image via Wikipedia
When I was introduced to Nina Badzin’s blog, I turned into Usher and was like…”Oh my gosh, I’m so in love, I found you finally…”
Seriously, I fell pretty hard.
Nina tells it like it is.
If you read my introduction to her recent guest post here, you’ll see why I’m so excited to be a guest blogger at Nina’s today.
But
I’m also scared.
I’ve written about an issue that’s been hard for me to deal with in the past: toxic people.
Intriqued?
Follow me to Nina Badzin’s Blog, where I spill the rest of the story.
Click on Nina’s smile, and you’ll be magically transported to Minnesota. (Or just click on the big, bold blue link above.)
Isn't she pretty-ful?
Comments are closed here, but I will be hanging out in Minnesota — waiting to respond to your words!
this morning
the little things scared me
i remembered
i’m afraid
of the dark and
dirt under my fingernails
stepping on thumbtacks
and the windows of my car getting stuck
in the down position
or the up position
i remembered that i’m afraid of rats and
cheese aged over 100 days
roaches
microwave rays
i’m afraid of potatoes
because i see
a similarity
between them and me: i have too many eyes
work in disguise
have felt the earthy rot
from within
i fear i’m too noisy
and then {i fear} I’m leading too quiet a life and
i’m afraid
of that man
who enters daily
through my eyes
{he could leap out of bed and never return}
i’m afraid of dying
in an absurd place
near a tobacco stand or
on a street corner where
old people linger.
i’ve a fear of drowning
being held upside down
under water, tangled in seaweed
and ocean. i’m afraid
of dawn’s outstretched arms
and the morning which screams
a promise between overlapping teeth
I’m afraid that
“Chicken Little” was right
{and the sky is falling}
i’m afraid no one will keep
the door open for me and
i’m afraid of being alone on the other side of the door.
i’m afraid of standing
beside buildings, so tall
not because they might fall
on me, but because cigarette smoke
and hate
drift upward
choke the sky
i’m afraid of the way my heart dangles carefree
on a string
and i’m afraid
that if you look in my eyes
you might see some ancient madness there
i’m afraid of being wrongly accused
afraid that i haven’t suffered nearly enough
but mostly i’m afraid of
my right hand, the way it guides me. It is
much older than i, comes down gray as
an eyeball
is godless
and without it
i am not here, never was.
My mother once told me
that i should
never tell anyone
what scares me the most
that they would surely
use it against me
so if you ask me
if i am afraid,
i will deny everything.
Truly, I am afraid of posting something that is pretty controversial. I am afraid that I will lose subscribers. I am going to do it on 3/13. But I’m really scared. Tell me what you are scared of.
There are TWO awesome things about today.
First of all it’s Mardi Gras, y’all.
When I was in New Orleans with Lisha Fink (The Lucky Mom) a few weeks ago, I made it to a bunch of small parades, and — yes — I lugged home thirty-five pounds of beads. Why are you looking at me like that? Those things are like gold. Do you see that one I’m wearing with the purple heart? Yeah. That’s a really good one. And the baseball beads my husband snagged? Also, outstanding.
There is definitely a hierarchy when it comes to Mardi Gras beads. I don’t wear just any old plastic beads. They have to be long and chunky. They have to shine. Does this sound crazy to you? I know. It kind of is. The thing is this: everything is topsy-turvy during Mardi Gras. Especially when it is a little dark outside and you find yourself jumping up and down in front of slightly scary looking masked people, begging them to throw you a little something.
As far as I’m concerned, I came home victorious.
{My fancy crap currently resides in a yellow bag in the basement.}
Hubby & I looking fancy!
And you know what else is awesome about today?
I’m at Shannon Pruitt’s blog “It’sMyNewFavoriteDay!”
I met Shannon at a Super Secret Underground Facebook Blogging Society.
She has a huge Facebook presence — which is incredible, and I can’t believe she even noticed me!
Shannon’s goal at her place is to have people recognize the most precious moments in their lives so that moments don’t pass us by so we can appreciate all we have in each day. You should totally follow her at @newfavoriteday.
But for now click HERE and check out the fun interview she did with me.
Do I sound like a dorkus or what? Tell me at Shannon’s place.
Tweet this Twit @rasjacobson
Way back in September, Leanne Shirtliffe (aka: Ironic Mom) asked me when I might want to have the Things make a stop in Rochester on their Excellent Adventure, and I knew I wanted them during the winter. Duh!
There is so much to do here when there is snow. I figured we would go skiing, make snow critters, go sledding and ice-skating, have them help us make snow tunnels, and bring them inside to a roaring fire. You get the idea. When Leanne contacted me in December, I had to decline her offer because there was no snow in Rochester. She asked me again a few weeks later, and while we were still without snow – I figured by the time the Things made it to me, we’d certainly have some white stuff. But as anyone from this part of the United States can tell you, the weather this year has been positively wonky. Here is a pictorial about our time with the Things.
I swear Rochester is usually much more fun than is perhaps depicted here. Maybe.
• • •
In Rochester, this season,
winter’s been strangely mild.
No sledding, no skiing.
for adult or for child.
When one day,
I found I had nothing to do
I opened my door
And found Things 1 and 2.
They were positively chilled
Having spent the night outside
So I brought them in our home
To entertain them, we tried.
We wanted to show the Things
A most wonderful day.
We took off to Great Places
We took off and away.
Lake Ontario. Toronto, Canada is on the other side.
We drove to Lake Ontario.
We drove with great care.
And though I said, “Pull over carefully!”
Hubby pulled over There.
The Things thought this was funny. Hubby? Not so much.
When he parked There in that spot
Hubby rolled over a bolt.
And when his tire popped,
We felt the horrible jolt.
The Things thought tire shopping was fun. Hubby? No so much.
The Things knew stuff like this happens
As things sometimes do
So they didn’t worry,
No, they didn’t stew.
They played in the tires
That had been stacked, just so.
They played until the people
At the tire shop said, “Go.”
Want some bracelets? Check out http://GoGuiltyPleasures.com Julie will send some to you!
The next morning I found the Things
They were quite a sight.
They’d gotten into some trouble.
(I’d suspected they might.)
They’d found some bracelets from GoGuiltyPleasures
and seemed a little low.
But I untangled them and told them
we’d more places to go.
The Things liked learning about Brownie cameras. Hubby? Not so much.
We took the Things to George Eastman House
Home of Kodak fame
I explained that if it hadn’t been for George
Picture taking wouldn’t be the same.
Jim's Diner on Winton. Tell them Renée sent you.
We all began to shiver
So we drove to our favorite diner.
The Things showed good manners and exclaimed:
“This coffee couldn’t be finer!”
We took the Things to Lock 33
On the Canal called Erie.
We had no mule whose name was Sal
And the Things were mighty weary.
What
Still, we took them to Wegmans Market
Best grocery store under the sky,
And once inside the Things perked up
There were so many things to try.
Jimmy from Produce loved The Things
They thought the store was swell.
They hid in the red peppers
And in a pile of lobster shells.
We took the Things to temple.
To show them how services were led.
They were very respectful
And wore one yarmulke on top of their heads.
One night the Things seemed homesick.
I saw a tear near Thing 1′s eye.
I pulled out a postcard of the Rockies
and brought out the Canada Dry.
The next day, miraculously
the snow – it had arrived!
And Thing 1 and Thing 2
seemed amazingly revived.
Happy Things!
They watched Tech Support at Rochester Fencing Club.
And even took a class.
And while they loved their toothpick sabers
They decided to take a pass.
We took the Things skiing
They liked to go vroom
They liked when I went very fast
So I zigged and zagged and zoomed!
The Things at Bristol Mountain
When their stay was over
We said splendiferous goodbyes.
We gave the Things good scrub downs
And gave each other high-fives.
As I shoved placed them in an envelope
addressed for their next temporary stay
We agreed we would miss those Things
and sent them safely on their way!
Fare thee well, Things. We hardly knew ye.
**NOTE: The snow melted the minute I sent the Things overseas to their next destination. Yup, they are headed to Switzerland to begin the European leg of their Tour! {Watch the news for “global weirding” in Europe.}
To read more about where the Things have been so far, click HERE.
So what would you have liked to have done with me and the Things? In Rochester, New York? In February? With no snow? IYKWIM.
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