Every once in a while, Monkey will do something that really makes me mad.
Like on a really hot day, he’ll spray me with his water gun – but he will forget to mention that he’s filled the barrel with a special concoction of water and the added bonus of blue food coloring (you know, for greater impact). So that’s pretty much the end of that white bikini.
Or he’ll tap things, even though he knows I can’t stand repetitive tapping.
Or he’ll leave his cup sitting on the kitchen counter. (And I don’t mean the cup you drink out of.)
Or he’ll put his jeans in the washer and then transfer them to the dryer…with an entire pack of chewing gum still in the pocket. So that’s pretty much the end of everything in that load.
But this.
This takes the cake.
Leanne Shirtliffe is Ironic Mom, and – after this “little inicident” where her daughter decided to write on a non-traditional writing surface, well… you tell me what you would have done.
Or better yet, tell me the worst thing your little stinker has ever done – to date!
That you know of.
And if you don’t have a stinker, ‘fess up!
What’s the worst thing you ever did as a kid?
renée a. schuls-jacobson 
What timing! I just wrote about two stupid things I did as a kid on my blog (yesterday and today)
My kiddo did the same thing Ironic Mom’s kids did. Except she was 10, and definitely knew better. I had a nice swirl down the side of the car, and an S on my mirror. No one in my family has an S name, so I don’t know where that came from, maybe because the mirror was facing south at the time?
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I actually think my father would have murdered me and left me in a ditch if I had ever dared to scratch the Chevy.
Even a sideways glance was askin’ for it.
Rule #1: Park away so no one scratches your car.
Yup. Dead. 😉
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Thanks for the linky love, I think. 😉
I have another horrible thing (that nearly matches the van incident), but it’s my next humour column in The Calgary Herald. I’ll let you know when it’s up.
And I’ll have you know that I did nothing wrong as a child. I did put the truck halfway in the ditch at age 12 (as a farm kid, I’d been driving since 10). But our young Danish exchange worker unhooked the tractor from the cultivator, came over and pulled me out, and never told my parents.
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Those Danes. Soooo smooth. 😉
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There are too, too many things that I and my darlings have done to even sort through the worst of them; but your squirt gun + food coloring scenario reminded me of one of my favorite summer stories:
Those lazy, hazy days of no school loom long and large. And when my kids were little, I used to (out of desperation) put on a bathing suit and let them draw all over me with their washable pens.
They would spend a good half hour decorating all of my exposed skin and I’d pretend not to hear them say things like, “Your tushy makes me hungry for Jello.” Yeah.
When they deemed me complete, we’d all jump into the pool or jacuzzi and swim and laugh and laugh and laugh as their artwork dissolved into the water.
I’m sure you can see where this is going. The day the washable pens got switched for permanent marker….
And I was covered in toddler tattoo.
For a while.
After that? I stuck to making Jello with them when we were bored…
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Outstanding.
That is, you, out standing on your deck with your booty covered in permanent marker.
i knew where we were going, but I still smiled the whole way.
And just so you know, I like strawberry Jello-O best. 😉
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My youngest (now 16) at about age 5 took our paint sample for the trim for our new home (1 gallon of exterior paint), and poured it onto the concrete on the back stoop. He quickly realized his error so then tried cleaning it up a variety of ways, none working and only creating a larger mess. He eventually pulled over a garden hose and hosed off some of the paint. Next he realized how much fun it was to put water into the gallon container and let it just overflow. By the time his dad found him he had a drying paint mess on the concrete and pretty much paint everywhere. He did get it cleaned up, but we still wonder what he was thinking that day. I bet it was a lot of fun and dad never got so involved in his garage clean up after that.
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Gotta love when clean-up goes awry. 😉
Once my brother and I offered to help with the dishes.
After our huge, soap and water war that left the kitchen a wet mess, my father stepped in.
We never had to wash another dish again.
Until we grew up.
Rather clever of us, you might say.
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My latest post deals with the same issue. But I feel that a house becomes a home only when there are kids and their stupid stuff to enliven it.
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Bindu, do you want to put the link to it here? I’m a firm believer in linky-love.
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Hmmm…the one thing that jumps into my mind is when my oldest [then 2 or 3] somehow got a hold of a blue ball point pen and drew all over back of the passenger seat of our new cream colored leather (pleather?) car interior. I still don’t know how I missed that. I have to say it was a blessing in disguise, because without that incident, I would have never discovered Mr. Clean Magic Erasers. (Truly a miracle product..and it got ALL of the ink out of the pleather.)
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Listen to you! You sound like a commercial! 😉
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When I was 6 I filled the tank of father’s 1950 Studebaker with readily available low cost fuel. From the garden hose.
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Oh, Carl.
Did you get the spanking of a lifetime?
Does your father remember this act of kindness? 😉
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Oh boy! This one brings back memories. My son was 4 years old and I was outside doing yard work while he was playing with his die cast airplanes. Yes, I know you know where this is going. He came up to me and said he had decorated my new car. Yeppers! Big old swirly scratches all over the hood of my car. He was beaming and so proud of himself! He is now 20, so you know I did not kill him 😉
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Ouch! Honestly, as I said before, my father would have killed me. And you know what? I am pretty sure he would still kill me if I scratched his car.
Yup. Dead. 😉
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When my “only” was 6 we were on a trip in the car. She was riding in the back seat with a basket filled with things to do and color with, and she decided to put red marker on her lips, like lipstick. Thank goodness it washed off or she would have looked like a floozy for a few days. It was rather funny at the time but, unfortunately for her, my first reaction wasn’t laughter. She drew an apology picture of a girl with giant lips and, in her own handwriting wrote “I promis I will no poote red morcr on my lips.” (Yes, I still have the apology note/picture.) And I am glad to say she hasn’t poote red morcr on anything since.
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That is outstanding! You should submit that to Leanne and Chase’s blog, http://stuffkidswrite.com (See the link for details.)
Methinks they would love to post that picture. And that story. 😉
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Sure I was an angel when I was wee.
I think the worst thing was scaring my parents by climbing things, jumping over high wide gaps, that sort of thing.
But the kids in your link – oh dear oh dear oh dear.
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Kinda makes your mouth just gape open, no? 😉
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And I thought my friend’s Facebook status yesterday was bad: “The euphoria of the weekend came to a screeching halt when the kids smashed the plasma tv screen in our family room while playing catch with a cabbage patch doll!!!”
I will send her your blog so she knows she’s not alone!
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And send me her blog address so we can meet each other in cyberspace. 😉
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Stupidest thing I’ve ever done: run through a storm door while trying to prevent a friend from going home (I was seven)…six stitches, and hours of people pulling glass out of me with tweezers in the emergency room. Even stupider: telling my parents my friend “pushed me” through the door!
Wendy
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Oh that’s rich. I’m guessing that “friend” got to stay over many, many more times and you learned to be wary of storm doors. It also sounds like a story that you might tell every time you get together.
Stupid stuff like that bonds people. For. Life. 😉
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I found your site from How Can I Complain? I don’t have any kids and I don’t want to go into my childhood but in all honesty it is the stupid things parents do that irks me more than what kids do. Perhaps it’s because I have none of my own.
You expect kids to make mistakes. You expect because their little bodies aren’t as coordinated as adults that they will have accidents, right. Why then do parents yell and scream at kids for spilling things on accident and that same parent when an adult (supposedly coordinated) friend does the same thing, we hear, “Oh, it’s okay. Just let me get a towel or rag and I’ll clean that up”.
Children have life rough enough already. Some parents need to step back. Sorry for ranting and perhaps in your humorous post, this comment doesn’t fit.
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The key is all about humor.
We like humor around here.
Some adults seem to lose their funny bones.
Sometimes we just have to remember to breathe.
So I breathe a lot. Especially after I have stepped on a Lego structure or some weird thing made out of K’Nex. Those suckers hurt!
Anyway, I’, glad you found me. And I’m glad I didn’t delete you. That blog name of yours. How wedded are you to that? Because you may end up in a lot of SPAM filters. 😉
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With three boys I have so many of these stories, but my favorite involves my middle and most mischievous son, now almost five. He was just 9 weeks old and we were at a rest stop half way to our camping destination. My husband was changing his diaper on the driver’s seat and directly after he said “don’t pee on me” my little sweetheart proceeded to poop ALL OVER the seat… window… door…. husband. It was juicy, lol. After I got back up from laughing so hard, I let me frozen in time husband go clean up. This event totally set the stage for the things this child had in store for us.
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Hi Elizabeth!
Hee hee. I love a good poopie story. I take it your husband survived. And I hope this event occurred in his car. 😉
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