photo via Amancay Maahs via Fotopedia
tall walls closing in around me, my
cardboard world sogging around my ears
my eyes, seeing only basements
and dirty floors and floors and floors
rising towards me and never any doors (and no
windows to climb out of) my skin and bones
boxing me in to a tiny beige package
of uncertainty where nothing is solid
except, perhaps, the darkness closing in
too fast, too fast (and
i’m praying it won’t last)
so i walk above ground, bumping against walls
insignificant against the day’s skyscrapers
where smoke drifts upward
chokes the sky, where dreams hover and die
and just when i am most alone, you
are with me, the friend
with whom i am certain to grow old
smiling secrets and i’m wondering
what could He see in me
all spotted and tough
and the walls recede:
His love is enough.
Who or what has helped pull you out of your darkest hours?
{This week, I thank Vickijo Campanaro for her ongoing, gentle support as I learn how to live courageously, and Debby Chornobil for her healing hands & encouraging heart.}
renée a. schuls-jacobson 
she makes me walk every morning–so I get exercise
LikeLike
That’s awesome! I love walking with my friend. Her dog is the best!
LikeLike
lovely sentiments, so perfectly captured. How blessed you are. Thanks for sharing.
LikeLike
I can talk to my best friend about absolutely anything. He is interested in EVERYTHING! He is one of the most knowledgeable people I have ever met in my life, but also one of the most sensitive and caring people I know. Maybe that’s why he’s my best friend.
LikeLike
How great that you have a GUY for a best friend. Wait, are you talking about your husband. If so, that’s wonderful. I love my hubby. And he is my partner. But my bestie? She gets me in a way that no one else does. Hubby doesn’t want to hear about my writing. Bestie? There’s nothing I can’t tell her. She’s a different kind of blessing.
LikeLike
I am blessed with caring friends. I have two I consider tied for “best friend.”
One is my sister, who loves me no matter what. I can share anything with her. And, she was my spiritual connection each morning during the first sixty days of my recovery from alcoholism. Her love is unconditional.
The second? Equally supportive and understanding. Sherry Isaac, who I considered a best friend before I ever met her in person. She’s a rock of determination and encouragement, a stellar example of working through life’s bumps and she is always there if I need to talk myself down from an emotional cliff, or blather my way through some of the more difficult decisions in life.
I can only hope I deliver that type of friendship, love, and support to them.
Wonderful poem!
LikeLike
You are so lucky to have TWO people in your life you know you could call ANYTIME and it would be fine. Really, you know how lucky you are, right? But I’m guessing you are a damn good friend yourself, Gloria.
LikeLike
My Best friend can tell when there is something bothering me just by the sound of my voice. I can try as I may to ‘fake it’ and put on a cheery smile, and to everyone else it seems to suffice, but not her. She knows everytime, and always ends up dragging it out of me and making me feel much better.
I really loved your poem! Job very well done with the symbolism and imagery! 🙂
LikeLike
You’re so right. Out best friends don’t let us get away with that fake stuff. Good friends are blessings, aren’t they? May you grow old together!
LikeLike
Gosh, I haven’t written a poem in ages. Used to be my thing as a teenager. I’m scared to look at them now. Love this. And love my BFF. He just gets me.
LikeLike
I know, right? My writing roots are really in poetry. And when I feel exhausted, it helps to remember I don’t always have to explain so much. Sometimes I don’t need so many words to say what I want. And sometimes I find a great image I can import into my fiction or non-fiction. If you ever get stuck, give it a whirl. Thanks for stopping by!
LikeLike
BF – that’s a HARD one to answer, babes. Love the poem … love the imagery.
LikeLike
Really? Hmmmm. We shall have to discuss that. You know, one day, when we are on the beach. 😉
LikeLike
She lets me be honest with her, and she’s honest with me.
LikeLike
I love this. She always knows the right thing to say when I am feeling “most alone”.
Love the poem.
LikeLike
We are so lucky. I’m convinced of it. Because not everyone has that special someone. And all you need is one.
LikeLike
Beautiful, Renee! My favorite parts are the rhythmic internal rhymes when they creep up. Would make a great spoken word poem! My best friends are the ones who’ve seen me through bad choices, but don’t judge. They respect me and I respect them because we’re able to be honest with each other. That and even if we don’t see each other for awhile, when we do, it’s like no time has passed.
LikeLike
that was beautiful and moving. I enjoyed reading it. My best friend. I know she is there, even when she is not there. I can call on her and even if she is busy, I will be in her thoughts. If it is important, everything else will wait. there is history, long talks, walks, lots of tea and coffee and just knowing that even when I am alone, I am not really alone because somewhere out there, sometime we will come together.
LikeLike
They raise me up, hold me accountable, laugh, cry, dance, sing and say grace with me. We are reflections of each other.
Beautiful poem.
LikeLike
Beautiful poem. I’m not sure if I have one best friend. I have a few close friends who have always been there for me. Friends are the ones who are always honest and tell you what you need to hear instead of only what you want to hear.
My friend from college (who now lives in NJ) will be coming to visit in two weeks. She was the one who picked me up at JFK Airport at 5 am when I returned from spending a year in Israel, she comes into NYC to see me every year when I’m there, and she helped me collect a pee sample from Baka, outside the vet’s office, when he was a puppy. Now THAT’s friendship!
LikeLike
My best friend and I joke that we are soulmates. I love the line in your poem that the love is enough. i believe it!
LikeLike
I believe that best friends can be soulmates. I definitely found mine. We are all so lucky, yes?
LikeLike
Beautiful, Renee. My best friend knows everything about me and continues to love me and show up for me. She tells me the truth, calls me on my bullshit, reminds me to be gentle with myself and is my biggest cheerleader. She’s my sister by choice and I adore her. And you! xo
LikeLike
I LOVE that your sister is your best friend. THAT is the best compliment. You’d better send this comment to her. Do you tell her? Does she know how important she is to you? Have you written about her? If so, you’d better send me the link. STAT!
LikeLike
Thanks for committing this poetry, Renee. It’s melancholy and uplifting at the same time.
LikeLike
Just so you know, I am writing a post where I refer to a blogger I LOVE. I was going to link to you, but it seems a bit over the top. JUst so you know, she’s you. WHen I describe HER, I’m talking about you.
LikeLike
I had wanted to comment on the poem before now but was unable. You, dear Renée, are talented. Simple as that.
LikeLike
Thank you, Z. You are beyond kind. I know you have many very good friends to whom you are devoted. They are lucky people. Man, I miss you.
LikeLike
Poetry? I should tell you about the Spring Pulse Poetry Festival. Consider coming up and joining in on the fun (but warn me, and I’ll put you in contact with the organizer).
Wayne
LikeLike
Wayne, didn’t the deadline pass on April 15? I would be interested in entering, if it’s not too late!
LikeLike
I’ll call David in the morning, and see. Didn’t notice the date myself 🙂
FYI, got another contract back by email, another short story sold!
Wayne
LikeLike
FANTASTIC! You are on a roll!
LikeLike
**my eyes, seeing only basements
and dirty floors and floors**
LOoooove. Xxx
LikeLike
Thanks for bopping by. You always make me feel so good. That’s what you do.
xo
LikeLike
Love this: my eyes, seeing only basements
and dirty floors and floors
and never any doors (and no
windows to climb out of) …
Know what? I don’t know that I have a bestie. Maybe I’m my own.
LikeLike
I think it’s cool that you are your own bestie. I think a lot of guys are their own best friend. We chicks? We needs out best girlfriends because our husbands don’t always get us.
LikeLike
The problem is when I get in a fight with my bestie. I don’t know whose side to take.
LikeLike
Sorry to be late on this. Bad week…
Love your poem and your wet cardboard box metaphor!
I think the best part about my best friends is their understanding of me. 🙂
LikeLike
I’m sorry it was a bad week. But it really was. All the more reason to thank goodness foe good friends who can hold you up.
LikeLike
Lovely poem, Renée.
As I said on FB (I think), I don’t have a best friend as such, but I feel this way about my husband. I can tell him anything.
LikeLike
Renée, ma chère! This poem fits perfectly with the Celebrating Women promotion I’m doing with some other authors. With your permission (pretty, pretty please) I would love to post a link to your poem on my website. Okey dokey? *waving across the lake*
LikeLike
Of course. I’m honored. And I’ve visited every one of their blogs. Boy, you’ve got some great friends!
LikeLike
This was beautiful :
where smoke drifts upward
chokes the sky, where dreams hover and die
and just when i am most alone, you
are with me, the friend
LikeLike
lovely poem – I read and re-read… I talk to my wife about most things, well some things…I think i’m more like Eli…. but at work (school) I have a BF a go to – to talk, to laugh, and share frustrations about school and life.. we’ve known each other for years and we began working together four years ago – she was the click to my clack and we really complimented each other – we’d bounce ideas off of one another and she was there to curb my enthusiasm when it needed a leash. this year we were separated – different teams – and next year different grade levels. thanks for making me think! I needed it.
LikeLike
Renee, this has AMAZING rhythm. Way to rock the words, lady! Love to see all this creativity shine from you – spoken word poems, colorful artwork and photography. It all makes me smile. Happy healing. You are beautiful. *hug*
LikeLike