My Benzo Story

Many people find my blog long after they have stopped using benzodiazepines, a class of powerful and widely prescribed drugs, with names like Ativan, Xanax, Klonopin, and Valium.

Perhaps you’re here now because you’ve stopped taking your medications, and now you’re trying to see if the horrifying physical, emotional and psychological symptoms could be associated with the psychiatric medications you were taking per doctors’ orders.

Short answer: Yes.

And you’re not crazy.

The damage has been done, but you can and will heal.

Your body knows what to do, but it takes time.

Remember, you are not alone. All you have to do is get through today.

Here is a list of posts that I’ve written to detail my story as it unfolds.

I hope it’s helpful.

In Case You Want To Know Whee I’ve Been: March 26, 2014

When The Bottom Fell Out: April 4, 2014

The Early days of Benzo Withdrawal: April 9, 2014.

Night Time Horrors: April 23, 2014

My Own Personal Yellow Brick Road: May 21, 2014

Limping Back to Life: Sept. 26, 2014

Thirty Months Off: Feb 1, 2016

Challenging Status Qu0: February 12, 2016

Feel free to leave a comment for me below, or contact me via email at

I’m happy to try and offer support in that way.

Resources that might be of help:

Beyond Meds

Merry Joyous Free

Benzodiazepine Tapering, Withdrawal & Recovery Support on Facebook

Benzodiazepine Awareness and Legal Action on Facebook


6 responses to “My Benzo Story

  1. well, you don’t need me nor anyone to say “you’re strong!”


  2. Five years of benzo use resulted in a walking dead visage.


  3. Hi Renee. I just found your website. I’ve read all of your blogs relating to your benzo story and watched your video for benzo awareness day. I’m just entering my 8th month since being CT’d off of xanax and still suffering daily symptoms of tinnitus, head pressure, headache, floaty/dizzy, heavy head and wonky vision, heart racing, weakness and nausea along with some other things that I can deal with better than these symptoms. Thank you for putting your story out there. I can’t express how much hope and encouragement I’ve received from reading it over and over. You look so healthy and beautiful and energetic now and you give me hope that one day I will be that way again too! I would love to know where you were symptomatically at 8 months and where you are currently? I noticed that there were no benzo posts in 2015. Thanks again so much!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Susan. I’m so sorry to read that you too have been iatrogenically damaged. It is a long haul, but our bodies really do know how to heal themselves. Where was I at 8 months off? You won’t like to hear this, but I was a disaster – no windows at all – until 16 months. In February 2014, I actually left my home and my family and went to The Meadows, a rehab facility in Arizona. It cost $40K. I received tons of therapy and met many wonderful people who were just as ddamaged as I was…but it was hard because I saw heroin addicts come in and clean up in 45 days. Meanwhile, I was so cognitively wrecked, I kept asking the same questions: “Am I ever going to heal? Am I ever going to be able to think again?” It was one of the most surreal experiences of my life – and I’m still in touch with many wonderful people I met out there. I received a lot of therapy and finally realized that I was not in a healthy marriage. (I guess you could say I really came out of denial and had to face what brought me to benzos in the first place.)

      I didn’t post much in 2015 because I was going thru a difficult divorce and I was completely uprooted.

      On an upnote, I’ve mended the damaged relationship with my parents, and I have a fabulous boyfriend (for whom I’m grateful), and I’m doing things for myself that I never thought I’d ever be doing.

      Your brain is pretty scrambled right now, I’m sure. Try to be patient and continue to push yourself to do things you don’t think you can do. Try them. If you can’t do them, at least you tried. Eventually you’ll be able to do them and that’s how you’ll know you’re making progress.

      Feel free to contact me again. I actually offer telephone support to people because, Lord knows, we need it and no one has a clue what we’re going thru: truly Hell on Earth.


    • Also, I did write in 2015…but not very much. You can find that content here:


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