Making Peace With Reading Glasses

 

photo by kiwikewlio @ flickr.com

 

Allow me a vanity moment. It has happened. My husband – an ophthalmologist – warned me that the day would come, and it finally did. I now have reading glasses.

It happened quickly. One day, I was churning through my students’ papers unencumbered, and the next well . . . we were sitting at a restaurant and I was complaining about the fuzzy print on the menu.

“Fuzzy print?” husband asked.

“Yeah,” I said, “Can I see yours?”

He generously handed over his menu.

It’s blurry, too. I’m confused.

“Time to make that eye appointment,” he guffawed.

Six months later, I have reading glasses stashed all over every corner of my life: the night-table drawer, the kitchen desk, in the computer room, in the library (read: bathroom), in my car, in my purse. None of these reading glasses are pretty as I purchase them in Val-U packs of three (or more) from Target. I have this one pair of thick black frames that I would never wear in public because when I wear them I seriously look like Drew Carey‘s sister.

I have to admit, I feel notably less sexy with my glasses on. I’m sorry, but it is true. I would rather look smokin’ hot in my red dress and stumble into the dessert table at somebody’s wedding than wear my glasses. And I don’t need them for distance, so I can’t wear contact lenses — and I am not a good candidate for LASIK, so you can stop right there with those suggestions. I am simply a latent hyperope. I don’t exactly know what that is, but it sounds very high-maintenance. Apparently, there is nothing for me to do except try to “make nice” with my new reading glasses.

“Eventually you are going to need to be fitted for a lovely set of bifocals,” my husband recently teased.

Alas, I didn’t know what I had until it was gone.😉

What surprises have you learned about yourself as you’ve grown older?

26 responses to “Making Peace With Reading Glasses

  1. Feeling smokin’ hot in a red dress and stumbling into the dessert table isn’t sexy at all, LOL! I don’t know of anybody who equates glasses with sexiness, so you’ll be fine! A 21-year old with glasses, that’s all! (How come this page has no smileys?)

    Rex Raymond
    http://www.lifesomundane.net/

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  3. Hey! You’ll be sexy even with the glasses on! Don’t worry! Search around for the cheapie specs that have frames to match and coordinate with that sexy red dress and other ensembles.

    I’ve had glasses since I was ten – though I really should have had a monocle at that age, needing a corrective lens for only one eye. Now, I’m feeling half-blind doing cross-stitch and thinking my next pair will have to be . . . bi-focals.

    Sexy is a state of mind, and in the mind of the beholder. Sexy is more than just what you look like, with or without the desserts smeared on the hot red dress.

    Better to be able to see clearly where you’re going!

    One thing I’ve discovered as I grow older is that I’m not a phsyically flexible as I used to be – though I can still touch my toes and put my hands flat on the floor without groaning (too loudly). I will likely be a candidate for knee replacement by the time I’m 50!

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    • I don’t know, I think I can rock the “smeared desserts on the red dress” thing. Can’t you picture the men swarming to lick frosting off my tummy?😉 Okay, done day-dreaming. Time to get some specs I can love.

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      • HA HA HA HA HA! Well, if I had those washboard abs (woman-style) I’d be willing to go along with that. I guess since my abs are much less than perfect, I’ll envision them licking frosting off of my push-up bra enhanced breasts! Of course, I wouldn’t be able to see because I wouldn’t have my glasses on…

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  4. Well, one thing that will help avoid the dessert table is taking the reading glasses OFF while you party like it’s 1999. OH Look there is the smokin’ hot Renee we all know and love. There is no fine print to be read at parties requiring the red dress. Just sayin.

    For me the biggest shocker have been changes in metabolism and lifestyle resulting in weight issues. From busy young Mom chasing little ones to sedentary Mom sitting in the bleachers. Now Gramma has young ones to chase but not often enough.

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    • I need the glasses to look at menus, but then I forget to take them off! It’s just that I’m getting glasses so late in life that I’m having to make the mental adjustment. I’m sure I’ll be the time I develop cataracts.😉

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      • I wear contacts sometimes, but I have had to wear glasses since age 9. Funny thing is I don’t need readers with my glasses. I do when I wear my contacts. Can’t your hubby hook you up with some snazzy red dress hottie menu readers???

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  5. I am supposed to pick up my first pair of reading glasses today, and I’m actually excited and happy about it. I’ve wanted glasses since I was a little kid. I think of them as another accessory, something else to use to augment my appearance, like jewelry, except functional. I also look forward to getting rid of the strain and headaches I feel after a day’s worth of computer work. Glasses are cool! You just have to find ones that you like.

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  6. I’ve worn glasses since 3rd grade, so I’m way past that issue. This summer I went in for eye and ear exams. The one told me I have moderate hearing loss and need double hearing aids, the other told me that besides stronger lenses, I also have the beginnings of cataracts… It’s a real shock when you run headlong into that brick wall called “Aging”! 😉

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  7. Glasses are essential for the sexy librarian look, Renee! Wear those glasses and work it!

    Alice

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    • I can rock that look! I can be librarian-hawt. I happen to know a smokin’-hot librarian with some very hawt-boots. I can probably find some smokin’ frames. Clearly, I have to stop shoppin’ Target and invest in my new fashion-must have.

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  8. Ahh the downside of growing older! I’m right there with you Renee! I have a pair in the kitchen, one in the living room, one in the bedroom, in my purse, one at work and one in the car! Mine are real beauties from the dollar store! We should compare looks soon! 🙂

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    • Guaranteed, mine are uglier than yours are. But it would be a fun little blog! I have round ones, rectangular ones that sit crookedly on my nose (that’s super-hawt), rectangular ones that sit fine on my nose; I have some rubbery ones (hate ’em: they get stuck in my hair); alas, I lost a pair today at work today that I actually liked, so now I have nothing for the car. I have my kewl pair from the local vintage store ($2.50 and the right prescription and everything), and of course, the Drew Carey’s. Gina, I’m game if you are. Take some pix and send ’em my way. We’ll see who has the ugliest glasses!

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  9. I had to toss the bifocals because you look down to read but if on computer I had to arch my neck up to read and after lots of time each day I felt like whiplash pain. Biggest prob elem growing older – short term memory loss. Can’t remember appts., if took pills, if sent email or not, make entry in check book. Some are bothersome but others have serious consequences.

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  10. As someone who has worn glasses since first grade, then contacts since 4th, I feel highly betrayed by my near-sighted eyes that force me to wear readers on top of my contacts. Geez!

    I, like you, have about a dozen pairs. Our Target is currently featuring them in the $1 spot!

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    • In the $1 bins? Seriously? I might have to make a trip. Or at least a phone-call! I should stock up and then hand them out for Halloween. Wait, that’s not right. You don’t hand out reading glasses for Halloween. Ohhh, everything is starting to go at once. See Carl? I’m falling apart. At least my breasts are still perky. For now.

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  11. I’m with Alice: glasses can be very attractive. Sort of that, “Hey, I’m intelligent, but I’ve got-it-going-on” combo. Very appealing. And if you’re at a wedding, there are probably enough drunk people with beer goggles on that it doesn’t matter what you’re wearing anyway. (Do beer goggles come in bifocals?)

    Having reached my mid-30’s, I’ve had to trim my ear hair on a more regular basis than I once imagined. I always equated ear hair with really old guys. And Yoda. And if you’re working your way toward either one of those looks, you start to feel a bit aged.

    Cool post, Renee.

    Chase

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  12. thewritingspider

    I’ve been opthamalically challenged since 5th grade… Got contacts in the 8th grade and now I keep seeing hot chicks in glasses. I mean, they’re hot BECAUSE of the glasses. Yet I still pick my contacts to wear nearly every day…EVEN THOUGH I have trendy frames that I get compliments on when I wear them.

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